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Sunday, January 29, 2006

MC JC Update

I wouldn't normally post about this. I've gotten on Gawker before. See, I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm the Ron Burgundy of the blog world. If you don't get that analogy, then shame on you, friend. Shame on you.

Anyway, enough malarky, check it out.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

MC JC

Kanye West is appearing on the cover of the latest Rolling Stone, posing as Jesus. There’s probably going to be a bit of a “controversy” over this, but I just don’t see the big deal. Superstars like West know how to get attention, and the public as a whole completely falls for the sham every time some celebrity does something “scandalous” (often at a time in their career where they have to in order for someone to care about them again—though, that's not so much the case for West).

So, Kanye thinks he is a Christ figure. Who cares? He’ll go the way of the dodo just like every other star who thought they were hot-shit-enough to liken themselves to a king, queen, prince, god, deity, etc.

Besides, Kanye may be copying Christ, but his Rolling Stone cover won’t be at all as good as the Rolling Stone cover Jesus did.

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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Science News

I've always loved science. It fascinates me. I'm constantly reading and staying up-to-date on the recent discoveries. So, join me as I look at the latest in the world of science.


SCIENTISTS DISCOVER MOST FERTILE IRISH MALE

This is important news. I am Irish. Ipso facto, I may be a descendent of this Niall of the Nine Hostages, a 5th century warlord who was head of the most powerful dynasty in ancient Ireland. Ipso facto, I am an awesome stack of baby-making goodness. Get in line, ladies.


STARDUST SPACE CAPSULE ARRIVES IN HOUSTON

The capsule has been traveling the solar system for seven years. It's been collecting bits of comet debris which scientists hope will help unlock secrets about the formation of our solar system. What will they find when they open the capsule?

I think we know.

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FOSSIL FIND SPARKS NEW INTEREST IN DODO

What's even more amazing than the discovery of this dodo mass grave is the mysterious dodo mass suicide note found nearby. Creepy.


ENDANGERED WHALES SIGHTED OFF TEXAS COAST

Get 'em!


SCIENTISTS WARN OF BABIES' SOFA DEATHS

People, people. Don't sit or sleep on these sofas until they've grown to full sofa size. Baby sofas can't handle your adult weight. Baby sofas shouldn't even be sold until they reach a certain size, I think. Someone should really make a law.

...

It's come to this, folks. I'm making jokes about baby deaths. Right now there's a foul stench in your nostrils. That's the absence of this blog's soul. And where that soul once resided is now piles of poo. Baby poo.


Monday, January 16, 2006

Martin Luther King Day

Today is the day in which we celebrate one of the greatest men in the history of America. He should, in my mind, be held up to the same status of American-hero-greatness as George Washington. If not a higher status. And I think he is, largely. However, I don't want Martin Luther King Jr. to ever become as mythical as, say, a George Washington.

For modern citizens of the U.S., George Washington may as well be a Roman god of some kind. We've made him and people like him almost demigods. Humans who are viewed as larger than life. Even though, realistically, we could all do things as great as a George Washington-type figure, in the ideological sense, we never can. You might say we've over hyped him. The idea of George Washington is so much bigger than the man himself could have been.

But I hope that Martin Luther King Jr. never becomes that. Because the beauty of Martin Luther King's message is that we can all make a difference. We don't have to be larger than life. I can be just like him. You can be just like him.

I think it's dangerous for great men to be given a status which is unattainable by the average man. Because if we can never become like them, why should they be idolized at all?

Here is a quote I heard recently. It is officially my favorite quote of the year.

"It is a cruel jest to say to a bootless man to pick himself up by his own bootstraps."
- Martin Luther King Jr.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Alito Supreme

This week the Senate Judicial Committee is holding hearings concerning Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito. I've been listening pretty regularly. The man seems very well spoken, and I'm sure he's a decent guy.

But during his response to a question on the application of foreign law in regards to our own constitution, Alito talked about human rights, probably alluding to the torture issue or our treatment of enemy combatants. Now, I'm paraphrasing, but he said something to the effect of...

"The U.S. has led the world on human rights. When the Bill of Rights was written, there were really no other countries in the world who protected human rights the way we did."


True dat, Samuel Alito. True dat. The U.S. was like that older sibling who sets the younger siblings straight on the important things in life. Like freedom and democracy and liberty and more freedom. We were the global big brother.

Who owned slaves.

Yeah, those were humans we didn't really give proper rights to. But according to our constitution, they weren't actually considered whole people at the time. So, no harm done, bro-ham!

And the Native Americans, too.

But, heh, what are they going to do, give us back our old, disease-filled blankets? Nice try, Native Americans. We're not falling for it.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Me Finishing An Overheard Conversation 2

Original Conversation in BLACK
Me Finishing the Original Conversation in RED


Woman 1

Well, I don't trust this internet
thing. You don't know who's out
there or what they want to do.

Woman 2
True.

Woman 1
I mean, you don't know if they are
who they say they are. How would
you find out? I mean, imagine if
you're talking to someone or doing
business with someone and they
turn out to be some swindler trying
to get your money. Awful.

Woman 2
(takes off woman mask)

Man 1
(formerly Woman 2)
Yeah, imagine that. Heh-heh.

Woman 1
Gah!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Blog Linking Update Explosion!

Okay, it's not really that "explosive," but I was finally able to update the list for The Blogs. These were just blogs that I've had my eye on. They're all good, and they're listed in no particular order, except maybe the order in which I found them... which incidently is from best blog to worst blog! So, I start out having a great time reading and by the end of the list... well, I just want to kill myself, or at least gouge my eyes out!

No, no, no. I kid. Me gouging my eyes out isn't related to any of the blogs. Aren't I a really good typist though? I am typing whilst I have no eyes! Blood is dripping onto the keyboard! But here I am, typing away! Without a single error! See? Good, because I don't! No eyes, remember?

...

Anyway, they're in no particular order. So, for now, go check out those fine blogs while I think of something to post.