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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

You Know What's Awesome?

I haven't posted in a bit, but you know what's really awesome? When your computer is infected with a virus. And then when you boot your computer, it just hangs at the desktop screen. Sure, you can move the mouse, but you can't click on anything. That fucking rocks. So you have to wipe the hard drive clean and start from scratch again. There's not much better than that. Food tastes better.

You know what's awesome? When people want you to do something for them, but instead of saying "you," they use the word we. And they're asking you, but really, it's a suppressed order. You can hear the annoyance and frustration in their voice. It's really awesome when people do that. I feel. "Why don't we go ahead and take this out to the dumpster." And by we, he really means you. He's not going to help you. He's not including himself in that we. It's a universal we. But you're the only one in that universe.

You know what else is awesome? Having to remember every user name and password for the hundreds of websites you used to visit before wiping your hard drive clean. I love that. It's like a day off of school, or winning the lottery. Whatever the analogy, you feel like God is looking down at you, specifically, and winking and pointing and giving you a thumbs up. Like Buddy Christ. Remembering all those passwords is like a hearty handshake from Buddy Christ.

Here's something even more awesomer. Not only using your children as a vessel to further the tradition of your ignorant and racist views, but also pushing them to be in the spotlight so as to vicariously fulfill your failed dreams and ambitions in life. I think that is just fantastic. I mean, just listen to these doe-eyed cutees.

"We're proud of being white, we want to keep being white," said Lynx. "We want our people to stay white … we don't want to just be, you know, a big muddle. We just want to preserve our race."
Yeah, they just want to preserve the white race. They don't want to be a big muddle. They just want to keep being white. Most women (the smart ones anyhow) know that when you have sexual intercourse with a man, you are injected (for lack of a better word) with his skin color.

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Race mixing will only get you a dirty gene pool. And when the gene pool is murky, you'll find it's tougher to swim through. And tougher to find the answers to those difficult algerbra problems. "How do I fix this leaky faucet? I don't know, I can't see. The gene pool is too dirty." How are you going to find the answers in such a dirty, dirty gene pool. These girls raise a good point.

Now imagine a gene pool that is sparkling clean. You can see the answers to the algerbra test. You feel smarter knowing that you aced that algerbra exam. And as you exit the school building in your custom built transportation device -- see, when you're born as just a head with an arm sticking out, getting around is difficult. But you're thinking clearly, thanks to genetic purity!

And when you get home, you'll fix that leaky faucet, because the problem-solving portion of your brain seems more open and energized. All thanks to your mom, who didn't have sex with a Black man. Instead, she mated with a distant cousin of hers. Sure, he's Irish, but that's okay. You've got brown hair and a pasty white complexion. No one will mistake you for being Black, no sir!

Anyway, I think that's all totally awesome!


At 12:22 AM, Blogger lovelygreensweater said...

Wow, your right thats all totally awesome. But whats this about "buddy christ"?? Wasn't he like, hebrew? I'm not sure if he'll fit in once this ethnic purity thing starts to really pick up, you know without blue eyes and blond hair and whatnot. Why don't we just edit that part out? huh?

At 9:35 AM, Blogger Lia said...


That's all I can say.

At 10:12 AM, Blogger American Girl said...

wow. i'm officially embarrassed to be white.

At 11:22 AM, Blogger Jason said...

I'm so confused. You're pro leaky faucet? anti leaky faucet? You hate plumbers?

I'd really appreciate if you could spell it out a bit more cleary, like, in black and white.

At 12:40 PM, Blogger Matt said...

That's Awesome! You know what else is awesome? Skinny Dipping in the Gene Pool.

At 1:27 PM, Blogger jazz said...

hope you've been backing up any, you know, excellent writing that you may need for, i don't know...something.

lauged out loud when i got to the "marrying a cousin" part. brilliant.

At 6:06 PM, Blogger Carney Man said...

I marred my cousin once...does that count?

At 9:49 PM, Blogger Katie said...

Hey! That sounds great! I'll have to pull my sister away from her black Muslim-American boyfriend quickly as possible and give her back to her blond-haired, blue-eyed incarcerated boyfriend. At least with him, he won't muddle the gene pool, maybe, you know, murder her, but at least she won't have black children with a man who treats her like a Goddess!

Thanks Lynx! Thanks Star-kitten! You've led me right again!

Hey, sounds like you're having a totally awesome week!

At 5:14 AM, Anonymous A girl... said...

Andy, your pc is fucked up and the first thing you do is catch up on the career or Lynx & her sister KKK?

Have you ever mixed black paint with white paint? Have you ever mixed anything with white paint? Have you ever painted? Do you know what paint is? All these questions, and more, need to be answered.

Bah. I saw algebra references and ran away.

At 2:28 PM, Blogger Squeaky said...

Heehee, your post is about White Supremicists, and the verification word for this post is "Goy."

Coincidence? I hope not because is too cool.

Okay, it is actually Goyyy, but still...

At 7:19 AM, Blogger Shavonne said...

Holy cow! Bakersfield is not far away from me. And to think I've been living this close to talent like that! Too bad I'm too dark to enjoy the message.

At 9:38 AM, Blogger Melissa said...


At 5:55 PM, Anonymous steven said...

oh god. Now I'm ashamed of being white. There are so many different kinds of us such as rednecks, or hobos, that it doesnt make sense gouping us into "white". Anyway, my uncle married and had a child with a Persian women, and their child is really pretty, and is very I don't know about this little article posting.

At 7:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a bunch of ignorant, racist, crap. White and black make black. Its more like white and black make gray, but in skin they make brown.

At 2:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

people kill me wit this, i myself witness the racist, and hater behaivior of people and i just sit back an think, what is the world coming to.whoever wrote this prolly got their man or woman taken by a "black" person and now they hatin. and furthermore Almost everybody who is classified as "Black" or "White" arent pure any damn way. black is just a term used to classify everybody whos brown and has some kind of african in them. come on, "white" can be used for every body who is not lightskinned but of a pale , peach , tanned, white or pink complexion. have you any idea how many races have this characteristic? german, irish, some jewish.... come on. seriously? and for a while the term "caucasian" was used to describe white people and thats wrong, caucasians come from the caucus mountains of germany. seriously. what color is ignorant? huh? cuz that seems to be the dominant race of people in the world.


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