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Monday, September 26, 2005

People Shout Things At Me While I'm Running

(This entire post should be read in a British accent)

I went running a few days ago, and I received one of the most original things hollared at me. It was quite HI-larious. A person shouted, "Run, Forrest! Run!" See, I had never heard this before. I wondered aloud, "Who is this Forrest person, I say? And whyever is he running?"

Only then did I realize that this person passing by thier automobile was referencing the film Forrest Gump, starring the delightfully charming and immensely talented Tom Hanks. I had heard this before. Well, I'll tell you, old chap, I nearly soiled my undergarments right there in the town square!

Kudos to that gentle lad or lady who was intelligent enough to pull that reference out from the nether regions of our collective psyches. Good show! Jolly good show, indeed!

I say, to those who say there is a lack of originality in this world, I say look no further than your own roadways! Talent is zooming by, honking and waving. Oftentimes, talent will throw an empty bottle at you, and on rare occasions, that bottle might be filled. Not with whiskey or refreshing soda pop, but with pure, unadulterated originality and talent!

Sometimes, though, it will be whiskey. And I will say, it can be quite painful and odorous. But whiskey and originality!? What a thing to have on our roadways!

We truly live in magical times, indeed!

(and... scene.)


At 5:06 AM, Blogger Michelle said...

Wow this person really did irritate you! I hate to say though, the British accent is actually snooty English! But it's all good anyway!

At 5:25 PM, Blogger American Girl said...

it makes about as much sense as the guy who blew a kiss to me while we were waiting at a red light. nice. how completely necessary. i wonder if these kinds of people lay in bed at night giggling about how clever they are.

At 6:19 PM, Blogger mao said...

i think nothing beats being hit on by gardeners/landscapers while running.. sweaty, gross, wheezing, and make-up-less-me being whistled at. *disgusted look*

ps. i'm new but i used to read your intern-blog. that was pretty awesometastic.. as is this one.

At 8:27 PM, Blogger lovelygreensweater said...

hehehe I know, it seems as though we've hit the bottom of the creativity well. le sigh at least you haven't yet. :)

At 9:03 PM, Blogger jazz said...

i tried and tried to go back and read it with an american accent but it totally does not work!

good thing my english accent rules!

At 5:14 AM, Blogger kotkin said...

(Read this with what ever accent you want)

What a delightfull and plesunt way to start the morning

At 7:47 AM, Blogger Jason said...

I have had to get runs in after 10pm on a Friday, and that is a rough time to run past bars. That is, unless you like to be constantly asked "Do you know what time it is!?" by the stumbling drunk. That is actually the only thing anyone has ever come up with: "Do you know what time it is!?"

Three or four times I've been asked the same thing.

Maybe there is a mailing list or something where everyone decided on the best way to put down a runner.

At 8:55 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

It could have been me that said "Run, Forrest, Run." Were you that guy, you know, running, the other day?

At 6:52 AM, Blogger Devo said...

You know, it's funnier if the bottle they throw at you is full of urine instead of whiskey. Cuz pee is funny.

At 6:15 PM, Blogger Chris said...

'alo guvn'r! I tried readn' it in a cockney accent an it plum woul'nt wok! Eeah! (It does work in a "I'm SO FABulous and gay" accent... but then, I speak that way all the time!)

Toodles, dear boy!

At 4:23 AM, Blogger Bridge said...

Other amusing / insulting things to call runners:





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