Oh, Girls

I went out with my friends tonight. I'm going out again tomorrow night to see a friend I've haven't hung out with in years, so tonight was very light. I had very little to drink (which is close to normal for me).

But I saw this girl. I didn't know her. She was cute, though. And I kept sort of glancing over in her direction. And she glanced back in my direction. But it wasn't a "who is this freak glancing in my direction" look. It was more of a "yeah, I'm here, what are you going to do about it?" look. The thing is, I didn't do anything about it. And when my friends and I left, I looked at her once more, and she was already sort of looking in my direction. As we walked out I kept saying I should go back in. But I never did. And I regret it, but I'm not beating myself up for it.

About an hour later, I got a call from a friend who stayed at that bar. He was yelling and crying, saying that it was pretty lucky I didn't come back. That girl I was eyeing turned out to be a cannibal. WHEW! Am I right?

"Like right after you left she just started taking bites out of everyone!" he said. "And her vampire friend locked the entrance and no one could get out. They went on a feasting frenzy. It's going to be pretty funny to see who wakes up a vampire and who... doesn't wake up at all. I think I'm a vampire, dude. Which reminds me--and this is a completely random question--you wash your neck up pretty good, right? I remember I was at your house once and I saw some quality loofas in your bathroom. Very nice... yeah, gimme a call tomorrow night. For sure."

...

Heh, no, I'm just kidding. He's not my friend.



I wish I could go into my girl problems, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable. Especially since this blog is potentially read by... well, let's just say, someone I still care a lot about. As far as girls go, it's been sort of a weird year. Not cannibal or vampire weird.

Sometimes I wish I could meet a cannibal or vampire girl. At least, with them, there's really no secrets. I mean, the biggest one ("Andy, I'm a vampire." or "Andy, I'm a cannibal.") has pretty much been revealed. Right? There's not a lot of mystery. No games. No guessing. No toying. Just you and cannibal girl/vampire girl.

Think about it. If they turn out to be the love of your life, you can either spend eternity with them as an immortal, or spend eternity with them in thier stomach. And, if it's not meant to be... well, that situation will work itself out, too.