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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Customer Interaction

At Andrea's, the store at which I am employed, I work behind the scenes, so I don't really see a lot of customer interaction. And when I do, it usually ends awkwardly for the customer.

For instance, today I had to carry some merchandise out onto the floor. As I was leaving the floor, a woman stopped me and asked me about some item on some shelf.

"Excuse me," she said. "Do you work here? What's your name?"

"My name is Andy. And, yes, I do work here, but---"

"There was this large, decorative duck figure on a shelf, and I need to know the price," she says. "It's right over there," she says, turning and pointing to the shelf where said large, decorative duck figure supposedly lies. But when she turns back to me. I am gone. Where I was, there is now only a cloud of smoke.

The old woman walks around the aisle confused, coughing and clearing the smoke with her hand. "Hello?" she asks. One of my coworkers comes to aid the old woman.

"Can I help you, ma'am?"

"Yes, this boy named Andy was standing right here," she says, still bewildered. "I asked him to help me find the price for something---"

"Did you say 'Andy'?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well... Andy died last year," says my coworker, a little confused herself.


"Yeah, he was walking underneath those shelves over there, and this whole order of large, decorative ducks came crashing down on him, instantly killing him."

"OH MY! I was just asking for the price of those very same ducks," the old woman shrieks. "They're right over there!" she says, turning and pointing to the shelf where said large, decorative duck figures supposedly lie. But when she turns back to my coworker. My coworker is gone. Where she was, there is now only a cloud of smoke.

"Help me, Jesus," says the old woman in shock.

"Can I help you find something, ma'am?" asks another employee.

The old woman screams, has a heart attack, and dies right on the spot. That's when I and my coworker come running back to the aisle, from the next aisle over, to steal the woman's purse. We laugh and laugh and high five.

Oh, it was hilarious.


At 6:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not long ago we were living week to week. A sad state of affairs faced us every morning. If you are in this similar situation, do not give up. Do what we did.
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At 6:04 PM, Blogger James said...

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At 6:18 PM, Blogger Former Intern Andy said...


At 11:45 PM, Blogger PureViLmay said... mean....

you weirdo!! hahaa

At 1:03 AM, Blogger Syar said...

I shall now be wary of all shops named Andrea's. as well as decorative duck figures.

At 3:38 AM, Blogger Edna B said...

Is that the laugh city?

At 9:03 AM, Blogger Sloop said...

Hilarious story. Good comment spam too.

At 9:03 AM, Blogger cookie said...

It's nice to meet another sadist.. :)

Haha... So how much did you get from her purse? ...

At 9:08 AM, Blogger jazz said...

because i've met you in person, i think it's even funnier because i'm really able to picture this....

because you tried it on me and i just beat your ass instead.


At 11:41 AM, Blogger Carney Man said...

Aren't those spam comments great?

At 10:24 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Question...did you play these tricks while you were interning, and if so, why didn't they hire you on the spot!

This one made me smile as I was reading it. Or maybe it was just gas from lunch, I don't really know now that I think about it.

At 8:54 PM, Anonymous Big Bro said...

When I worked at Six Flags, we used to split the monetary contents of any wallets we found and then turn them to Lost & Found. We never had to kill off anyone to get the loot - it always fell out of pockets on our rides. ;)

At 8:43 PM, Blogger Caro said...

blogging from the dead! that's got to be some new world record.

At 10:02 AM, Blogger Adammmmmm said...

You're a sick son of a bitch.

I'll definately be back.

At 10:02 AM, Blogger Adammmmmm said...

You're a sick son of a bitch.

I'll definately be back.

At 10:02 AM, Blogger Adammmmmm said...

You're a sick son of a bitch.

I'll definately be back.

At 1:39 AM, Blogger nope said...


I'm sorry for being intrusive in to your blog. But I am Melissa and I am a mother of two that is just trying to get out of an incredible financial debt. See my hubby is away in Iraq trying to protect this great country that we live in, and I am at home with our two kids telling bill collectors please be patiant. When my husband returns from war we will beable to catch up on our payments. We have already had are 2001 Ford repossessed from the bank, and are now down to a 83 buick that is rusted from front to back and the heater don't work, and tire tax is due in November.

I'm not asking for your pitty because we got our ownselfs into this mess but we would love you and thank you in our prayers if you would just keep this link on your blog for others to view.

God Bless You.

Melissa K. W.
To see my family view this page. My Family

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