Customer Interaction

At Andrea's, the store at which I am employed, I work behind the scenes, so I don't really see a lot of customer interaction. And when I do, it usually ends awkwardly for the customer.

For instance, today I had to carry some merchandise out onto the floor. As I was leaving the floor, a woman stopped me and asked me about some item on some shelf.

"Excuse me," she said. "Do you work here? What's your name?"

"My name is Andy. And, yes, I do work here, but---"

"There was this large, decorative duck figure on a shelf, and I need to know the price," she says. "It's right over there," she says, turning and pointing to the shelf where said large, decorative duck figure supposedly lies. But when she turns back to me. I am gone. Where I was, there is now only a cloud of smoke.

The old woman walks around the aisle confused, coughing and clearing the smoke with her hand. "Hello?" she asks. One of my coworkers comes to aid the old woman.

"Can I help you, ma'am?"

"Yes, this boy named Andy was standing right here," she says, still bewildered. "I asked him to help me find the price for something---"

"Did you say 'Andy'?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well... Andy died last year," says my coworker, a little confused herself.

"What?"

"Yeah, he was walking underneath those shelves over there, and this whole order of large, decorative ducks came crashing down on him, instantly killing him."

"OH MY! I was just asking for the price of those very same ducks," the old woman shrieks. "They're right over there!" she says, turning and pointing to the shelf where said large, decorative duck figures supposedly lie. But when she turns back to my coworker. My coworker is gone. Where she was, there is now only a cloud of smoke.

"Help me, Jesus," says the old woman in shock.

"Can I help you find something, ma'am?" asks another employee.

The old woman screams, has a heart attack, and dies right on the spot. That's when I and my coworker come running back to the aisle, from the next aisle over, to steal the woman's purse. We laugh and laugh and high five.

Oh, it was hilarious.