What If I Was The Only REAL Human And Everyone Else Was Just Robots?

I've just had a considerable and totally original thought. Dude.

What if I was the only REAL thinking, breathing, self-aware human being? And what if everyone else was just a robot? Think about it. All of these concepts I've learned since being raised from a toddler by my robot parents are all a hoax, a sheet pulled over my eyes. Things like the existence of God -- how am I supposed to believe what a bunch of robots tell me? For all I know, this God might just be a robot, too. And you better believe Jesus was a robot.

That's right. I said it. Jesus was a robot. It's time someone spoke out against that fish and bread-producing pile of circuits on high. Just think about it. Knowing that Jesus was a robot, would you be as impressed by all those "miracles"?

I think if, back in biblical times, people saw Jesus do something amazing, like bring a man back to life, they'd probably freak out. But the second you revealed to them that Jesus was a robot, you'd see the joy flush from their body, like someone just told them that the Easter Bunny killed Santa Clause and then turned the gun on himself in some sort of wild, seasonal-figure, suicide pact.

It's a worthy analogy.

You tell them Jesus is a robot and they say, "Oh, well, I guess bringing someone back from the dead is pretty cool, but... you know, he's a robot. So what's there to get excited about? ... Wanna go watch the lions eat Christians?"

But I'm getting off on a tangent.

So, clearly, I'm the only one who is thinking right now. Everyone else is all data tree, file search, data search, file tree, etcetera, etcetera.... And everything I say will be stored somewhere in their databanks, right? I mean, if I ask them what they think of social security, they've got a pre-programmed answer. It's hidden by a series of um's and uh's and disguised by a human-like voice. Though I must say, after this breakthrough, it's pretty obvious that some of these people I come across in everyday life are robots.

"Sir, if you will not quiet down, I am going to have to ask you to leave. Please leave, before I contact the authorities."

Who talks like that?? No contractions. "...the authorities"? That guy was so totally a robot.

But then what does it all mean? What is the ultimate purpose? Why is it that I was chosen to be human and you were all given simple, blog-decoding robot brains? Furthermore, who chose me? Robots? God? Robot God?

I just hope it has nothing to do with Robot Jesus. Man, I hate that Robot Jesus so much!

Honestly, Jesus rising from the grave? Come on. He sputtered out, wires were crossed. The other robots fixed him, he got back on stage, and everyone freaked. "Jesus! We thought you were dead!" Of course, he lied and told them that he was dead, instead of the truth. That he was really a robot.

Think about it. It all makes sense. Of course, given the fact that you are all robots, perhaps I am wasting my time telling you this. I may have even let my presence be known to the robot community. Which could be dangerous. You know, we wouldn't be in this situation is it wasn't for Robot Jesus.

Pfft. Lying, Robot Jesus...