One Of Five Random Thoughts
#1 Store Cashiers
I was in a store the other day. It seems like whenever I'm checking out, no matter who the salesperson may be, I always feel the need to entertain. Why do we feel the need to humor or entertain cashiers? As if we're shining some small bit of light on what we assume to be their horribly dark and pitiful lives.
We stand in line, swaying back and forth, shifting our weight from one leg to the other.* You inconspicuously listen in on the small talk of the guy checking out in front of you. He places his three very busy Hawaiian shirts on the conveyer belt, then flashes a smile at the 18 year old cashier. "Wife and I... takin' a trip to the Caribbean," he says. The cashier humors him with a brief smile. "I wasn't sure about these patterns, but I figure, heh... no one'll ever lose me, right?" The cashier swipes his credit card without pause. His receipt prints. His things are packed into bags and he's soon on his way. He'll go over the entire scenario again while walking to his car. "'No one will ever lose me'? Real smooth! Stupid ass! Should have gone with the weather material!"
Now it's your turn. And even though you saw him go down in flames, you think exactly as he did. "Okay, you're up," you say to yourself, cracking your knuckles and stretching your neck from side to side. "Time to turn on the funny. Let's show this cashier a good time."
And then, like the others before us, we fail.
She doesn't care about your copy of Family Guy on DVD, and why you think it's a hilarious show. She doesn't care why you're getting the boxer briefs instead of just boxers or just briefs. And, for the love of Lucifer, she doesn't care why you're going with the X-Box version and not the Playstation 2 version of the latest Grand Theft Auto.
Why do we do it?
* And still another if you have a third leg.